Memorial Service Talk
(Not to be the Eulogy)
It is times like these, when we honor someone close to us that has just passed, that the reality of death raises the questions we so often ignore. Is there life after death? And, if so…What is the purpose of life? Confronting these thoughts raise more questions, those the ancient Greeks considered to be the Great Questions: Where did I come from? Why Am I Here? Where am I going? In other words: Who Am I?
Science offers the only answer they can yet provide: We are advanced animals, sitting atop the food chain, with no purpose other than to eat, breed, and die. Not a very satisfying explanation, and in fact, one that most scientists themselves do not believe. However, it is the beginning of an answer, at least as it relates to biology. There are many things science cannot give us answers to, for example, everyone knows that love exists, that is why we are here. But science cannot test love to determine whether it is real or not, and so it simply takes the position it does not exist until it discovers a mechanism for testing it.
So, I put the question to you. Who Are You? Who are you really?
Are you your name, your age, your marital status, your education? Are you your body? Most people seem unable to make a mental separation from their bodies. Many of us see ourselves AS our body, and then obsess about it. Is that who you think you are; your body? Or…… do you have a body?
Do your accomplishments define you? Or, are they simply experiences? Perhaps we are our collective memories? Most of us define ourselves through the lenses of our memories. So, think deeply now. Is that who you are; your collective memories?
Are we our thoughts? Are we our emotions? Who sees when you see? Who hears when you hear? Who knows when you are aware? Who observes the experiences of your body, your mind, and your emotions? Seriously, Who Are You? Almost 2,500 years ago Socrates uttered his famous dictum, “Know Thyself.” These words are as bold, fresh, and true today, as they were them.
Science tells us that each of us are constructed of approximately 100 trillion living cells working in concert to create the biological organism of a single person. We know that virtually all our cells die and are replaced, at least every year. Most of our cells are replaced within a few months and some daily. So, are you the same person who looked out through your eyes last year?
Your ego, the voice in your head that is constantly talking, seems certain that you are it. Your ego programming expects to reign supreme, and generally does. Indeed, almost everyone defaults into believing this is who they really are after they have thought about it for a while. So then, is the voice in your head, the real you?
At some point, we will slip out of our body, just as Laura did at 1:30 in the morning early last week. We think of this as death. Who is it that moves on after death? All of us have an intuitive sense of our existence. You know that you're here. You exist. You know this is true. The vast majority of us all have a sense of our continuity after death. Some of us have had very literal and tangible, experiences with those that have already passed on.
So, let's try an experiment. Close your eyes for a moment. Yes really, please close your eyes. Now, say the word "Love" in your mind. Keep your eyes closed. Did you hear it? Now say, "Jesus Christ taught Love over all else." Okay, open your eyes. You heard it in your mind didn't you? So, if you said it….. who was it that was listening? Is there someone else in there, one who bothers you with worry all the time, and the other one who listens to all that mental chatter? I sometimes think of the ego mind, which is the mental program that is constantly making commentary on virtually everything, as a noisy roommate in my head.
It seems there is nothing more important to our personal spiritual growth than realizing that we are NOT the voice in our mind. You are the ONE who hears it. You are an eternal spirit. You are the experiencer. It is this YOU that is a Child of God. You are not your body. You have a body. You are not your emotions. You have emotions. You are not your thoughts. You have thoughts.
Yes, that's right, we are NOT really our thoughts, notwithstanding I wrote two books suggesting that we were. We are simply aware of our thoughts. It is true that we can steer those thoughts. And, it is also true that we tend to associate so closely with our personal thinking that we assume it is us. Most of us tend to listen to every random thought that jumps into our mind. Yet anyone can step back mentally and watch themselves having thoughts. The interesting thing is that we really do NOT have to believe the negative stuff our mind is constantly churning up. This is IMPORTANT because the nonsense our ego self, frequently declares, can be extremely dangerous to our spiritual evolution.
Our ego is the mental program designed to warn and protect us. But very few of us are concerned about physical dangers these days, so the ego has transformed into warning us about everything else that might possibly be wrong. Listening to your ego fret, can be absolutely exhausting. We call this worry, anxiety, and depression. So, is there any way out? Yes there is. Simply rise above the noisy worries going on in your mind. With practiced observation, you'll notice most of that chatter is wrong anyway.
Our inner growth, our spiritual development, is dependent upon the realization that the only way to find peace is to stop thinking about ourselves. You see, our inner roommate, the ego, is always talking. That's its job. You cannot stop it. However, you can stop listening to the "I" messages, and the constant judging of others. The ego mind is focused entirely on self-interest. Too much attention to this messaging, and we down-regulate ourselves. Spirituality is gone when we are focused on self-interest, and as we allow ourselves to become consumed with worry.
When we practice self-observation and begin to understand the huge amount of faulty information our ego generates, that’s when we realize we have a problem. It's in our head. This is the source of just about every problem we've ever had. Eventually, we catch on that we must distance ourselves from our psyche and focus on the spiritual. If we don't, we will always be in turmoil. It is our choice to become obsessed, or not, with the details of life to the point of deep emotional stress. On the other hand, we can choose to observe events as they unfold, thus, seeing things as experiences and opportunities for our own spiritual growth.
A powerful and transforming spiritual practice is to focus on compassion. Compassion is love in action. In order to get to this place we must give up judging others. When we learn to suspend the constant judgment our egos demand we can ease up on judging ourselves. Ultimately we must learn to forgive everyone of everything. I suspect that is why the Apostle Luke recorded the Savior as saying:
"Judge not, and ye shall be not judged: condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."
Matthew records similar counsel:
"Judge not that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
The Apostle John quotes Jesus as also saying:
"Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man."
We are at our best when we do as Jesus taught: To practice loving kindness to all of humankind. Not just to our family and friends, but to everyone, everywhere. This keeps the focus off the negative. It orients us towards love, and all that is light, right and good. In the end, the only question seems to be: Do we Love, or do we Judge? Clearly, all the great prophets, seers, and revelators of ancient times taught Love. Love over all else.
Judgment is the origin of our misery, remorse, grief, sorrow, and shame. The antidote is humility, forgiveness, and acceptance. And again, Christ was the perfect example.
So, is there Purpose to your existence? Yes, of course. You are a Child of God. You are eternal. You are a son or daughter of your Father in Heaven. You are here to experience a world of apparent opposites, light verses darkness, health verses illness, cold verses heat, good verses wrong, to learn to choose wisdom over ignorance. From here we move on having gained wisdom and insight throughout our earth life experience. Conscious evolution is the product of correct thinking. Consider:
Our thoughts determine our actions
Our actions determine our habits
Our habits determine our character
Our character determines our eternal destiny
As to the question: Where Did I Come From? I think the poet William Wordsworth said it best in his “Ode on Intimations of Immortality”:
“Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God who is our home.”
Laura has gone home!